War Rages On
I’m listing each grievance to see where I am.
I’ll spit it all out and not give a damn.
I’m mad at myself for being such a fool
For trusting that brother to follow my rule.
Abundance means giving with heartfelt ease,
forgiving yourself for the fearful freeze
that locks up your love - it never knows why,
but holds on to a dream ‘til the day that you die.
Dear Father, your help would be welcome today.
I’m attacking my brother just so I can stay
separate, adamant, striving to be
that pillar of strength that may set me free.
Yet everything crumbles - disaster reigns.
My body is ravaged with weakness and pains.
I can’t change brothers, I know that somehow
They’re a mirror of me and I’m guilty now.
I could keep on writing ‘til dawn arrives.
Please Jesus come and clear my eyes.
The splinter I see is reflecting me.
I think I am guilty in the first degree.
Remove all this poison, this acid, this crap.
Please wake me up with one really good slap.
“Stop delving in misery, in lack and loss,
or unfairly treated by your kin or your boss.”
I’m choosing my thoughts and making them real,
And suffering from thoughts. - Ye gads what a deal!
I’m turning it over to God instead.
Holy Spirit take over - I’m going to bed!
Janni Spiller
Revised, 8/26/2011
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1 comment:
hi Janni My heart went out to you when I read this. Sometimes the
solution is simple. Leaan and move on. There is no reason for you to feel guilty. You know in your heart who you can trust and who not.
A cow cannot talk Dutch.
If one person or more turns out not to be as you would like them, that's life; it is a rich tapestry; I can look in one corner
and feel 'bad' -- 'it's all about me', 'I need to be a better person'.
Sometimes it really is a question
of being simple: let those peotple do their thing; you do what you have to do; and give yourself an opportunity to look elsewhere for love, service, friendship, and dare I say it reciprocity. :)
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